The 5 Love Languages of Road-tripping @ Miami>Asheville
Travelers Rest, South Carolina. Road tripping the East Coast.
We are on our way to Asheville, North Carolina, 12-hour drive from Miami, feeling excited and happy for what is to come! There we are, singing in the car, listening to audio books/ podcasts and having good conversations along the road. There’s a bit of traffic, or a detour, but we continue to move closer to our destination. We overhear something rattling in the car, but it can hardly be heard over the excellent audiobook that is playing.
- He insists on checking it out.
- I pull over and he inspects the hood.
- He’s really good with cars, he usually does the regular maintenance stuff and I really appreciate it!
“Research indicates that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.”
Gary Chapman.
A few miles down the road, he pulls over again. He checks the tires and carefully looks over. He’s just making sure everything is good to continue as we got 6 hours left, but he has a feeling that there might be something off. Even if the tire pressure gauge points that the amount of air is right, he thinks the tires could be running a little bit better.
The car has been doing fine, and there’s a really nice sightseeing spot a few miles away I want to check out. I can’t understand why he’d rather make a detour to the nearest town to get a second opinion on the tires. He says it will improve the performance of the car significantly, which is great and all, but I am already on this road trip and I want to prioritize enjoying rather than focusing on every little problem when things are basically fine.
Pit Stop @ Charlotte, North Carolina.
The metaphor I use follows road tripping and love languages. The reality is that although one-person beliefs that he/ she is doing something that is beneficial for the relationship, the other person might not get the message the same way. Like cars, they are not a particular interest to everyone, in terms of mechanics and how they work. All of us have an “emotional love tank”, when we receive love in our primary love language, our love tank is filled and we feel loved. When we don’t receive love expressed in our primary love language, our love tank gradually depletes and we feel unloved.
There are 5 different ways people give and show love.
* Words of Affirmation. Words of praise, encouragement, verbal compliments.
** Quality Time. Undivided attention (quality conversations/ quality activities with partner).
*** Gift Giving. Physical symbols of love to partner. It does not matter how much it costs, it is the act of giving something physical.
**** Acts of Service. Helping partner with the things which you know they would appreciate. It can be helping the kids with homework, doing bills, chores, cooking, etc.
*****Physical Touch. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing, sex.
12 hours later!
A relationship is a shared responsibility and both parties must contribute to it in order to keep it healthy. I supplied snacks, playlists, itinerary, and navigation to keep the road trip going smoothly, while he did the driving and engine checks. Over and above that, it is important to identify the preference of giving and receiving love: ask yourself what you most often request from your partner and vice-versa.
“We need not agree on everything, but we must find a way to handle our differences so that they do not become divisive.”
Gary Chapman.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
