Understanding the 5 Love Languages

“Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other’s eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.”

3 lessons from love languages:

1. As your relationship matures, communication is key.

Once the honeymoon period of a relationship ends, it’s important to be able to continue making the other person feel consistently loved and appreciated.

All of us have an “emotional love tank”. When we receive love in our primary love language, our love tank is filled and we feel loved. When we don’t receive love expressed in our primary love language, our love tank gradually depletes and we feel unloved. Same happens with our partner’s emotional tank!

2. There are 5 different ways people give and show love.

* Words of Affirmation. Words of praise, encouragement, verbal compliments.

** Quality Time. Undivided attention (quality conversations/ quality activities with partner).

*** Gift Giving. Physical symbols of love to partner. It does not matter how much it costs, it is the act of giving something physical.

**** Acts of Service. Helping partner with the things which you know they would appreciate. It can be helping the kids with homework, doing bills, chores, cooking, etc.

*****Physical Touch. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing, sex.

3. Identify your and your partner’s love language to deepen intimacy.

1. Ask yourself what you most often request from your partner and viceversa.

2. Consider what comes to mind when you want to feel genuinely appreciated. Which of these love languages comes to mind?

3. Additionally, you can identify your love language by thinking of times when your partner’s behaviors have hurt you. For example, when they have not done something or failed to understand you. Suppose you have been upset by your partner withdrawing one of these love languages. In that case, that is likely your primary love language.

4. Your upbringing can also help you better understand which love language is likely your primary one. Try to remember how your parents or carers helped you feel loved while you were growing up.